Ah, Hillary.  Tough week for ya lass, what with Edwards bouncing for Obama the day after you thumped him in West Virginia.  But all is lost, so you got nothin' to lose.  I know the boys cut a deal, but so what?  Obama doesn't want Johnboy's white trash votes, and he never had very many anyways.  My guess is Obama will let Edwards run the pooper-scooper around the White house lawn a few times before he ships him back to Hicksville.   Veepstakes is off the table so it's not like you're losing to TWO boys.  Come on, chin up girl!  Don't get that dear-in-the-headlights look about you.   Remember?  Girls rule.  Boys drool.  Just like they taught you at Wellesley.  Time to go to Plan G, or whatever it is.  A few suggestions:
  
Don't challenge him to a mud slinging contest -- that's bad for the Party.
Challenge him to a mud wrestling contest -- that's good for us and you'll win.
Get'em in a headlock and make him say Uncle Wright three times.

On the campaign trail always order hard boiled huevos grandes.  Natural colored eggs covered with ketchup are best.  File your teeth if you have to, but smile wide and chomp hard, shell 'n all.  Afterwards, use the Mens room and watch the guys scatter.

Know what a codpiece is?  Attach one to your pantsuit and wear it to your next debate with Obama.  Then, pull an Al Gore and stomp around the podium while he's talking.  He might wet himself, and either way, the video'll go viral.

Just before the convention, call Andy Young and cut off Bill's supply of black girls.  Talk about the elephant in the room, he'll go rogue mode and trample the opposition.   Just keep him away from Michelle, though.  I'm pretty sure she can take him.

Worst case scenario:  take the Veep job.  Once you're in, make them play MacBeth every night in the White House theatre.  Get a white nightgown and while he's sleeping stomp the hallways screaming OUT OUT DAMN SPOT.  Run again in 2012. 

Remember.  He's a boy.  So don't quit don't quit don't quit don't quit don't don't quit don't quit don't quit don't quit

You go, uh, girl.